Why the Tree of Life?

12.20.2007

A Sampler

... of things that can happen while you are vomiting into the kitchen sink:

-your two year old could climb the toilet, open the child-locked bathroom cabinet, find the toothpaste, climb back down and proceed to put globs of it on your own toothbrush, lick and swallow, rinse and repeat. You will find out about this because you later notice daddy's toothpaste in 'toy timeout' and wonder outloud how it got there. Your five year old will explain. And he put it there for safety.

-an entire stick of chapstick could be rolled out, and a quarter of it will be eaten... presumably since you can't find the missing chunk, and the two year old is non-committal in his answers.

-the bathroom sink faucet could be turned on and allowed to run as bubble soap is added until the bottle is empty.

-The cat's food might be added to the pets' water by the fistful, and then all of it will be dumped onto the floor. You will have just given the pets a fresh, full bowl of water.

-Christmas tree ornaments from your husband's childhood or given to your children by relatives might be systematically taken apart. Sequins might be removed from your tree skirt, one by one.

-Photos might be removed from the photo ribbon board and folded into quarters and then fed through the slots of the dining room chairs, along with any book dust covers that happen to still be intact.

-a whole roll of toilet paper might be dropped in the toilet. And fished out and put back on the counter.

3 comments:

  1. Oh honey, that's a long day at the sink. Or very determined kids.

    When I'm sure we're not germy I'll come get them and you can heave in peace.

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  2. julielizabet1/14/08, 11:16 PM

    Though I wasn't vomiting at the time, I would like to say for the record that the toilet paper thing has happened to us more than once.

    And just tonight, for the second time this Christmas, my favorite Christmas ornament from my childhood was deconstructed and the center picture was placed into the tree water. I had to throw it away. (It was one of those tiny, framed thumbprints made into a mouse from a church bazaar when I was about 3). The first time it happened I was able to fish it out and redraw the faded mouse parts and re-glue the picture to the frame. This time it was too late. I guess I should be happy it lasted 28 years.

    I'm sorry to say that it was my 4-year-old, not my 2-year-old, who was the perpetrator of both of these crimes.

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  3. Ha just found your blog as we are becoming Enki HS and this is my life, at least when I am not able to be eith my kids 24/7 I feel your pain, I could give you things to write a book about, Two ADD kids and one follower add a dog and my art studio and there you go.

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